Friday, June 29, 2007

Things God won't ask......

1 ...God won't ask what kind of car you drove;
He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.

2...God won't ask the square footage of your house,
He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3...God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet,
He'll ask how many you helped to clothe.

4...God won't ask what your highest salary was,
He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5...God won't ask what your job title was,
He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6...God won't ask how many friends you had,
He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7... God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived,
He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8...God won't ask about the color of your skin,
He'll ask about the content of your character.

9... God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation,
He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

7 Don'ts after Meal

* Don't smoke- Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher).

* Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before meal.

* Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.

* Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked.

* Don't bathe - Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.

* Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.

* Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.

Smile a bit




Funniest one line Jokes.

Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."

"What did one ghost say to another?"
"Do you believe in people?"

My friend has a fine watch dog.
At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"
"Please wait someone else is using it."

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

"Where did you get those big eyes?"
"They came with the face."

I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls.

But the psychiatrist really helped me a lot. I would never answer the phone, because I was afraid. Now I answer it whether it rings or not.

It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !!

"Look, guide, here are some lion tracks."
"Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they came from."

"Do you think I"ll lose my looks as I get older?"
"Yes if you're lucky."

A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.

"Has there been any insanity in your family?"
"Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."

I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it.

"My wife doesn't know what she wants."
"You're lucky. My wife does."

We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me.

"What do use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best."

"Why don't you give your husband a divorce?"
"What, I have lived with him for ten years and now I should make him happy?"

"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be able to. I've had 12 different jobs in four months."

30Lines to make u Smile :-)

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,
why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

19.. Procrastinate Now!

20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

24..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.

25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

30.. I smile! because ! I don't know what the hell is going on.





Who u are?............

January 01-09--Dog
January 10-24--Mouse
January 25-31--Lion
February 01-05--Cat
February 06-14--Dove
February 15-21--Turtle
February 22-28--Panther
March 01-12--Monkey
March 13-15--Lion
March 16-23--Mouse
March 24-31--Cat
April 01-03--Dog
April 04-14--Panther
April 15-26--Mouse
April 27-30--Turtle
May 01-13--Monkey
May 14-21--Dove
May 22-31--Lion
June 01-03--Mouse
June 04-14--Turtle
June 15-20--Dog
June 21-24--Monkey
June 25-30--Cat
July 01-09--Mouse
July 10-15--Dog
July 16-26--Dove
July 27-31--Cat
August 01-15--Monkey
August 16-25--Mouse
August 26-31--Turtle
September 01-14--Dove
September 15-27--Cat
September 28-30 -- Dog
October 01-15--Monkey
October 16-27--Turtle
October 28-31--Panther
November 01-16--Lion
November 17-30--Cat
December 01-16--Dog
December 17-25--Monkey
December 26-31--Dove
Now Scroll Down


If you are a Dog:

A very loyal and sweet person. Your loyalty can never be doubted. You are
quite hone st and sincere when it comes to your attitude towards working.
You are a very simple person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humble and
down-to-earth!! That explains the Reason. Why your friends cling on to you!
You have a good taste for clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with
what is trendy, you sure are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a
little group of dignified friends, all of them being quality-personified.


If you are a Mouse :

Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is
what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely
fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder, people seek for your company and
look forward to include you for all get-togethers. However, you are
sensitive, which is a drawback. People need to select their words while
talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while
dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person
then!



If you are a Lion :

Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace loving person. You best
try to avoid a situation wherein you are required to fight. An outdoor
person, you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration. You are a
born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive work from people.
You love being loved, and when you receive your share of limelight from
someone, you are all his or hers!!!! Well, Well... Hence some people could
even take an advantage, flatter you to the maximum and get their work done.
So be careful.....



If you are a Cat :

An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy, with a passion for
quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love exploring various
things and going into depth of each thing. Under normal circumstances
you're cool, when given a reason to, you are like a Volcano waiting to
erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to you as an icon
associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along freely but don't like
talking much to strangers. People
feel very easy in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.



If you are a Turtle :

You are near to perfect and nice at heart. The examples of your kindness
are always circulated in groups of people. You, too, love peace. You
wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are
loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love
the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the
best part is that you do not expect it back in return. You are generous
enough. Seeing things in a practical light is what remains the best trait
of you guys.



If you are a Dove :

You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life. Whatever the
surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remaining unaffected. In fact,
you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the leader of your group of
friends and good at consoling people in their times of need. You dislike
hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your
good books, no matter what. You are very methodical and organized in your
work. No amount of mess, hence, can ever encompass you. Beware, it is easy
for you to fall in love....



If you are a Panther :

You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle pressure with ease, and
can handle any atmosphere without going berserk. You can be mean at times,
and love to gossip with your selected group. Very prim and proper. You like
all situations and things to be in the way you desire, which sometimes is
not possible. As a result, you may lose out in some relationships. But
otherwise, you love to help people out from difficult and tight spots when
they really need you.



If you are a Monkey :

Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be done as quickly as
possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if you are the centre of
attraction. That way, you people are unique. You would like to keep
yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be dragged or featured
in any sort of a controversy, you then go all panicky. Therefore, you take
your precautions from the very beginning. When you foresee anything wrong,
your sixth sense is what saves you from falling in traps. Quite a money
minded bunch you people are!

Shayari........................

1) Mere Wajod Mein Kash Tu utar Jaye, Main Dekhoon Aayina Aur Tu Nazar Aaye, Tu Ho Samne Aur Waqt Thehar Jaye,Ye Zindagi Tujhe Yuhin Dekhte Huye Guzar Jaye.

2) Sachi hai Dosti aajmake dekh lo,Karke yakin mujh pe mere paas aake dekh lo.
Badalta nahi kabhi Sona apna rang,Chahe jitni baar marji aag mein jalaake dekh lo.

3) Apne DIL ki baat hum unse keh nahi sakte.. Eh khuda aisi takdeer bana de ke woh humse khud aa kar kahe ke wo hamare bin reh nahi sakte.

4) hum to pehle se hi aapke hai sanam

kya zarurat hai hume aazmane ki

yaad na karo to koi gam nahi

par khawahish na karna kabhi bhool jaane ki

5) Roshan hui dunia jab se unse apni pahchan hui !
koi dil-e-gum nahi, ab jo pyar ka jhoka hai !!
Mil jaye to jeevansathi hai na mile to dhokha hai !!

6) Har kamyabi pe apka nam hoga,
apke har kadam pe duniya ka salam hoga,
mushkilo ka samna himmat se karna,
dua hai ek din waqt bhi apka gulam hoga...

7) En duriyon ko meri bewafai na samjna, is khamoshi ko meri narazgi na samjna. Har hal me denge sath tera,meri is DOSTI ko tu kamjor na samjna.

8) Doston ka to aana jana hai,Par yeh dost tera purana hai,Iss Dost ko bhula na dena kabhi mere yaar,Kyun ki yeh dost teri dosti ka deewana hai

9) Aaj kuch kami hai tere bagair,
na rang hai na roshni hai tere bagair,
waqt apni raftar se chal raha hai bus dharkan thami hai tere bagair.

10) Kissi mod pe akela na chodna,armaano se bhare dil ko yun na todna, duniya begani ban jaye to kya hua tamana yahi hai ki aap hamara sath kabhi mat chodna.

Life is a Gift (Story)

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blind.

She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He's always
there for her.

She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry
her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she
can see everything, including her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will
you marry me?"

The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind
too, and refused to marry him.

Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter
to her saying.

"Just take care of my eyes dear."

This is how human mental thoughts changes when their status changed.
Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been
there even in the most painful situations.

Life Is A Gift

Today before we think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak.

Before we complain about the taste of our food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before we complain about our husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.

Today before we complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before we complain about our children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before we argue about our dirty house, someone didn't clean or
sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets .

Before whining about the distance we drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when we are tired and complain about our job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished
they had our job.

But before we think of pointing the finger or condemning
another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer
to one maker.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get us down
Put a smile on our face and thank God we're alive and still around.

Life is a gift
Live it
Enjoy it
Celebrate it
EMBRACE IT
And fulfill it

Let The LORD & The LIGHT OF THE WORLD Bless You...............